1, 2, 3...Let it be!

I went back to Dr. Ortho a week ago.  I haven't been able to write about it because, honestly, I was expecting a more positive outcome.  I was feeling a little down in the dumps about the whole thing.

First, the guy obviously had NO memory of me being there a short 3 weeks earlier.  We even had the "Oh my goodness, YOU are NOT busy!" clever remark about me having 4 kids again.  On my first visit, we discussed at length the schools our kids attended.  I remembered where HIS kids went, but he had to ask me if my kids were even in school yet or not.  Aren't doctors supposed to be smart?  Aren't they supposed to have some super, duper memory?  Isn't that why I pay him my hard earned $30 every time I go - for his smartness?  I know he sees a lot of patients, but come on, dude, I have 4 kids 6 and under and haven't slept since 2004.  If I can remember our entire conversation from 3 weeks ago, I expect you to. 

I get another round of x-rays.  I get another ultrasound.  And guess what?  Same exact result as 3 weeks ago.  No signs of fractures on my x-rays, but inflammation on the ultrasound.  I explain that my pain level has not really changed so he says that we'll keep wearing the boot/casts for ANOTHER 3 weeks and prescribes PT.  Awesome.  I've actually gotten to be quite efficient in walking around in the boot.  I am fast.  I have mastered stairs while holding a baby.  I have raked leaves.  I even had to take off running after my 2-yo who decided to join in his big brother's soccer game a couple of weeks ago.  It wasn't pretty and I almost broke my leg doing it (ha, ha), but I rescued him before he was mowed over by super-competitive 6-yo's.  I guess I wouldn't mind the boot/casts so much if I knew that the legs were actually getting better, but my skepticism for this diagnosis is growing quicker by the day.

Regardless of my growing efficiencies, my house still looks like a tornado hit it.  I am tired of lugging that darn heavy boot around.  And my legs are getting itchy.  I see people running down the street in this beautiful, perfect fall weather and I start to get really agitated.  Little things start bothering me that typically don't get to me.  And I realize that I am SEVERELY missing my "release".

You know that scene in Forest Gump?  The first time Jenny tells him to "Run, Forest, Run"?  That is what I want to do - break out of the robo-legs and just run. 

But, then I'm reminded of several people I know who have much bigger obstacles to face than silly little stress fractures - if that's even what it is.  And while I may not run for a couple of months, others aren't so lucky.  I start to feel really bad for complaining.

So, when I start to feel sorry for myself, I'm trying to adopt a new phrase.  My 4-yo brought it home from preschool a couple of months ago.  1, 2, 3...let it be.  It rhymes and everything.  Now, those preschool teachers?   They are SUPER smart.  Here's how it works...

• I've got to wear the robo-legs for a couple more weeks and I really just want to run!!!  1, 2, 3...let it be.
• I vacuumed my entire house this morning and this afternoon it looks like someone brought 3 bags of leaves inside and spread them perfectly all over the house!!  1, 2, 3...let it be.
• I worked hard to cook a good, healthy dinner and all I receive in thanks is complaints and requests for peanut butter and jelly and halloween candy!! 1, 2, 3...let it be.

You see how it works.  I am holding the phrase close to my heart and focusing on the positives.  Maybe I should take my $30 to the preschool teacher next time.