One reason that I love having all the boys so close in age is actually NOT the opportunity to come up with clever retorts to "you have your hands full". It is actually because for the most part, they really are good friends. We never need to call over a play date (although we still like to)...every day is a play date. They keep each other entertained and come up with much better games than I ever could. But, every now and then, play dates get old. And play dates turn into fight dates. And fight dates turn into LONG afternoons.
Sibling fights come with the territory of having more than one kid, no matter what their age difference. These fights teach them valuable lessons like negotiation skills, the power of persuasion and the art of compromise. But, sometimes, when I've heard so many "MMMMMMOOOOOOOMMMMMMM's", it's easy to lose sight of these little life lessons.
Settling these disputes is more of an art than a science. Whose side do I believe? Which child do I punish for said dispute? Who do I hug first in an injury situation? And on those days when it feels like I'm settling dispute after dispute after dispute, my head starts to spin and I've doled out so many time-outs and lectures, that I'm getting on even my own nerves and I can tell that the kids are no longer listening to anything I'm saying.
One day last week, it was raining outside and we were stuck in the house. The 5-yo and 4-yo were overtired, snippy and finding fault with anything and everything the other one did. I had already settled arguments about important issues such as: who was playing with the spider man action figure first (the BIG one, not the small one), whose turn it was to pick a tv show, who won the race up the stairs (that was an easy one since no one is supposed to be racing up the stairs) and who got to use the downstairs toilet first. I mean, some serious issues going down over here. Move over health care reform and world peace.
The boys came running down the steps (again with the running and the steps), each trying to talk louder than the other as if that would gain them the upper hand in the situation. As they rounded the corner, I held my hand up and closed my eyes. "STOP." I said firmly to the racing little people bumping into me.
They were still trying to "out speak" the other one and either didn't hear me or were ignoring me.
"Just STOP. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to know whose fault it was. I just don't even want to know." I opened my eyes.
They both stared up at me, contemplating my statements, both beginning to open their mouths again to spill their stories.
"Nope, I'm not kidding. I have been listening to y'all fight all day long and I am tired of it. So, here's what you can do. You can BOTH go up to your room and I don't want you to come out until you have played together and had fun for 5 minutes."
The 5-yo quickly jumped in, disbelieving, "You mean, we can play in time out? With toys and stuff? Together?"
"Do whatever you want, but only start timing the 5 minutes when you are BOTH having fun. And after 5 minutes of fun TOGETHER you can both come back down."
They looked at each other in a conspiratory fashion, like they couldn't believe they had pulled one over old mom and raced up...you guessed it....the stairs again before I could change my mind.
And do you want to know when they returned back downstairs? FORTY-FIVE minutes later. Not five, but FORTY-FIVE. I couldn't believe it.
They came bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen, this time, with smiles and happy shouts, "Mommy!! We were having so much fun we forgot to come downstairs!!"
I kid you not. I only wish every "punishment" worked this well. I will definitely pull this one out of the hat again. Will its magic strike twice? Who knows, but for that day, score 1 for old mom.
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